I have this technology column I write, you know? I’m supposed to take a gizmo, mess around with it, and write about why it’s cool. It’s a GREAT gig and I consider myself really lucky to have it. But technology, you will be stunned to learn, doesn’t always work. This can be frustrating for the geekiest of gizmo girls.
Late last week I picked up my latest gizmo out at the factory. It’s a sexy little mobile phone with a full color display and a 200 page user manual. It’s supposed to synchronize with my desktop computer. It’s pricey – I Googgled it and it runs about 450 dollars. That’s a lotta cash. Ouch. Still, I don’t have to buy the thing; it comes to me on loan. I have to take good care of it and promise to bring it back when I’m done. That’s totally fair, no?
Yesterday I spent all day trying to install the software that makes the phone talk to my computer. All day. I’d already spent a good portion of Sunday trying to figure out why the package would download but wouldn’t install. Because it wouldn’t install, I also couldn’t uninstall it. On top of that, it refused to be deleted manually, preferring to tell me that I couldn’t delete the files because they were in use.
I am resourceful. I know a few things about technology, though I prefer not to take the route I had to take. I went to the message boards and found two solutions. One involved shutting down processes in the System Manager, then installing from the download directory. This didn’t work for me. Some guy on the message boards paid the price of a nice meal to the support desk to find out how to do this so it was nice of him to share. The other thing – which did work for me – was to install it from Safe mode. Who knows about Safe mode and how to get in to it? Show of hands please. Anyone?
I don’t think you should have to skip that fancy dinner out or dig through message boards for expert user techniques to install a piece of software that makes your 450 dollar phone work. I also don’t think you should have to be a registered member of a support group to read barebones support issues about your phone. This gizmo’s manufacturer makes you “register” your phone with them. Got a used one like I do? 60 dollars, please, to sign up. No kidding. It’s not bad enough that they gather all my data just so I can download a driver, they also want me to pay? What the hell? I just want to read the FAQ!
All this is okay for me, after all, it’s my job, right? But what about for you? I don’t want to assume anything about your technical skills, but I do think it’s safe to conclude that you probably do not want to search internet message boards for information on how to do the most basic of setups for your 450 dollar phone.
If this was my phone, I’d be taking it back to the store. My own cell phone is a really cheap Nokia that was included when I enrolled in my service. It doesn’t have all the sexy features that my loaner gizmo has, but you know what? It totally works. I’ve never cracked the manual for it but if I did need to find something out, I could get all the supporting documentation online for free.
People ask me all the time why stuff doesn’t work. (It’s true, they do.) My answer is always the same: I think things are needlessly complicated. My experience in working with technology has not taken the mystery out of it. When you know how stuff gets built, it becomes a miracle that anything ever works at all. Don’t mistake me for being cynical, I’m not, I swear, I’m really not. It’s just that when you build things by committee, well, what’s that parable about the blind men and the elephant? Those guys would never come up with an actual elephant.