Aloha Oy III: Honolulu Times Nine

Hawaii, as most people know, is a series of islands. With, um, water between them. In order to get from one island to another, one can not just hop on the bus, drop 1.75 in the fare box, and get off on the other side. Nope. It takes a bit more planning than that. There are limited water transit options. Mostly, you have to fly.

I have planned three, count them three, outrageously successful long distance itineraries. There was the California Coast/Sierras trip. There was the truly remarkable Great National Parks of the American West trip. And there was the splendor of the Canadian Rockies with the Added Bonus of Many Hot Springs trip. Participants (myself and Mr. Nerd’s Eye View) would tell you that these three journeys, of long distance and multiple destinations (ooh, there’s a travel sex joke in there somewhere) were Fabulous.

They were well planned without being stressful, plenty of time to see and do and wander, enough structure to create a sense of purpose, but not so much as to be a checklist.

For additional references, I think the participants (the Eugene Parental Contingent) on the Nerd’s Eye View Tours Austria inaugural trip would also agree: I can plan a trip. The honeymooners who did the Olympic Peninsula Classic Tour would also provide glowing references. Given my past experience, I thought pulling together a Hawaii itinerary would be not a slam dunk, but certainly doable.

Not so fast there, haole malahini! (White visitor. I don’t know the Hawaiian word for pinhead.)

This is the part where I mention that the customer service at Aloha Airlines is fan-freakin-tastic. And because I know you are on the lookout for shills, let me also tell you that I booked and paid for all our inter-island fares myself. Wow, did I screw it up! Wow! How many times do I need to see the Honolulu airport? Apparently, an awful lot, like, nine times. The fan-freakin-tastic woman on the phone with me waded through my two different sets of bookings, fixed everything, canceled the flight I didn’t need, and voila, things are repaired.

This cost 93 dollars and gives us one less flight and one more day on Kauai. This is important because, oh, look, I’ve booked a hotel room on Kauai the day after we fly out. Way to go, Einstein. You would think that with my Excel spreadsheets and high speed connection and fancy college degree, I could figure out how to get around the islands without booking myself four extra short hop flights. But noooooo. (Okay, it’s an art degree, but still.)

I do not think I will be a Hawaii expert upon our return to the mainland. There is too much to cover, too much to know. I am, however, becoming quite the planning whiz kid because the best learning comes from doing stuff the wrong way. And I am an expert at doing things the wrong way.

First, I was a terrible spazz with the tourism department. That nice guy at the tourism office would agree that my email saying “Hello I am going to Hawaii to write a book next week can you help me with everything?” was not the best possible introduction. The nice people at Aloha would agree that when booking a complex itinerary, it’s time to pick up the phone. I would agree that working in a calendar format is not a bad idea because it gives you a better picture of what’s what than a spreadsheet does.

Never mind. Never mind. I am a fast learner. It says that on my resume and you know what? It’s totally true. Now I have the calendar handy. Now I ask for the media questionnaire. Now I take a deep breath read the email two or three times before I hit send. And I’m planning ahead, too – later this week I’m having lunch with a friend who’s kind of a PR big shot to ask him this: Travel writers and PR people. What the hell? How do I make that work for me?

I would say that things are coming together nicely, but that’s not quite right. They are coming together, not really in a haphazard sort of way, but in an amateur in a crash course to become a professional, wow I don’t know exactly what I’m doing but I’m going to get it done sort of way. I feel okay about how it’s playing out, though I feel better about how my next title will come together. I will ask for a much longer planning horizon, for starters. I will seek professional help. I will calm the f*ck down when someone says “Hey, are you interested in going to [dreamlike destination] to write about it?”

Forgive me for wrapping on an ego high, but in spite of all the mess, I feel really good about writing the book. This, I know I can do. Even if I have to do the work while in the arrivals, no, departures, no, arrivals, no, departures terminal in Honolulu airport.

Multiple destinations. Heh.

Cue Honolulu Baby.

Related:

• Get yer cheap interisland flights on Aloha. The online fares are crazy low.
• Here’s a download point for calendar templates.
• Hey, if there are three, it’s a category. New! Aloha Oy on Nerd’s Eye View for Hawaii related nonsense.