Aloha Oy: Every Word Counts

Yesterday I finished watching a perfectly awful movie: Hawaii. This epic drama tells the story of a tightly wound missionary (Max von Sydow) and his bride (Julie Andrews) who are called to the Hawaiian islands to save the souls of the sinful people of Maui. The movie is too long by half, and the characters are completely transparent with one exception, the plus sized Alii Nui (Jocelyn LaGarde). She’s awesome. In spite of the melodrama, the film presents a fairly accurate depiction of Hawaiian history following the arrival of the accursed ‘haole’ (white man).

We all know what happens. The missionaries come, destroy the native culture, sailors, traders, and whalers arrive, bringing disease and exploitation to the bare breasted island maidens, the big hearted bride dies from overwork and consumption, the natives cover up, and Hawaii goes to Elvis and big hotel chains for the rest of time, but not before making the Native Hawaiians all but extinct. Oh, yeah, and there’s that Pearl Harbor incident. The travel propaganda industry  moves in and Hawaii becomes ensconced in our collective psyches as Paradise, American Style.  Okay, the movie doesn’t drag us into modern times. Von Sydow sees the error of his ways at the end, but wow, does he make a mess of everything getting there.

I have one more movie on deck, a documentary about Queen Liliuokalani, Hawaii’s last queen. She was coerced into abdicating her throne and the islands were handed to the jurisdiction of a man by the hardly coincidental pineapple name of Dole. I could follow up with Pearl Harbor, but I can’t stand Ben Affleck – From Here to Eternity is a better choice. And then, the insipid and undeniably appealing Blue Hawaii as desert? Or, Lilo and Stitch, for fun?

That is just under 300 words. And what have you learned about Hawaii today? Not much, I think. Plus, editorialize much, Nerd’s Eye View?

People who like to read my writing, god bless them, are all psyched when they learn I’m writing a book about Hawaii. “Hot damn!” they say, “I can’t wait to get my hands on what you write about that place!” Well, that is certainly flattery beyond what I deserve, but also, sadly, possibly untrue.

What they want is the wacky commentary. The character stories. The obscure details behind the scene. And I can honestly tell you that as badly as I want to write that stuff, there is very little room for it in my assignment. Take, for example, the fact that I have 400 words in which to cover history, culture, geography, and the modern day zeitgeist of the islands. And that the tone of the book is light, fun, appealing, and certainly free from sarcasm and snark. There’s room for enthusiasm and aesthetics, but for attitude?

Don’t get me wrong, I think it will be a good book, useful and fun, with a little off-the-beaten track (as much as it can be) advice, and some fun background stories. But it’s a reference, an introduction, a suggested guidelines sort of book, not a deep exploration of alternative Hawaii. And within those rules, there are some intense restrictions.

This is actually helpful when faced with so many options, so many choices to cover – if it’s not truly wonderful, it’s out. There’s no room for the mediocre. It’s also an excellent writing challenge. Restrictive word counts are not for weaklings. An editor I once worked with told me a famous quote for writers – “I would have written less if I’d had more time.” Writing long rambling paragraphs is easier than whittling them down to the essentials. The good news is that a lot of advice for travel writers says that editors are keen to fill the small spots in their calendar, that writing these tiny 400 word columns is a good way to break in to travel writing. It is good practice to write short, action packed pieces about huge topics.

The other news, good or not, is that oh, yeah, I have a blog! All those stories that you say you want to read (what, you don’t have anything better to do?) are going to end up right here on Nerd’s Eye View. Untrammeled by word counts and editorial guidelines beyond ‘disclose the freebies’, first person accounts of Hawaii are in the very near future.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to turn my attention back to writing 1200 words about Hawaiian food. I’m trying to get the essential character of poi into 300 words.

Related:

• 2 Cameras, 15 hours, 300 Photographs
• Aloha Oy

[tags]travel writing[/tags]