Book Contest: We Have a Winner!

First, thanks for sharing your stories. And also, (drum roll) meet celebrity judge, and writer of our prize, Chuck Thompson!

Seeing as how I know about half of the folks that entered, I didn’t think I would be able to pick my favorite without having personal stuff in the way. I asked the publicist if he’d ask Chuck Thompson if he’d pick my winner, and hey, he did. He might be cranky as hell about travel writing, but also, it seems he’s a Nice Guy. We’re probably not supposed to know that. Also, the publicist said he’d ship the prize, so I get to keep my copy – more nice guy stuff all around, and, let’s be real here, great marketing. Many thanks, guys!

Here’s a list of the entries:

From Chuck:

A word to all the non-winners: Through the years I’ve entered a number of contests (writing contests, song contests, NCAA bracket pools) and have never won a single one. It sucks not to be chosen, and I’m sorry for being part of the process of you not winning this time. I really am. I hate not winning, though since I’ve never won one of these things I’m not sure I’d handle victory any more graciously than defeat.

I asked Chuck if he’d write a little blurb about why he picked our winner, but he went above and beyond and wrote a little something about each entry. I’d initially hesitated about posting those here, but after reading them, I changed my mind.  Reading what Chuck has to say about each writer made me want to go back and read the entries all over again.  Enough said, here are Chuck’s comments:

A few comments now about some of the stories I read. I present these in the order in which I read them (not in the order of how I might rank them), with the exception of the last one, which gets my vote as the one that wins the galley of my book.

HE’S GOT RADIOACTIVE BLOOD

The story of going to see “Spiderman III” at a theater in San Jose. Actually, this is more the story of waiting in line to see “Spiderman III” and it left me with a pretty solid feel of the hell the writer went through and what it was like to be there. So, effective travel writing. I also agree with writer’s assessment of the first “Spiderman” movie—how this film received the critical raves it did is a mystery to me. So we are of like mind. My favorite line: “Conveniently, my place in line was immediately adjacent to the mall arcade, and I was able to pass the time listening to bells, whistles, gunshots, sirens and an incredibly annoying kiddie ride.” Funny. This story also reminded me of the time I saw “Last of the Mohicans” in a very grungy theater in the Philippines, where a giant rat … anyway, that’s another story, but I bring it up because it feels like I could have a conversation with this guy, so that’s a good sign that I liked the piece.

HEROES

This was the uplifting piece about medical and other workers on the Thai/Burmese border. What I liked most about this one was being introduced to a fascinating subculture, in this case the “backpack medics.” Very nice descriptions of these people and their lives and the writer’s admiration and affection for them shone through without being sappy or fake. For the writer, that’s not an easy trick to pull off and this one did it very nicely. I also appreciated the bit about Tee Lor Su waterfall, an attraction I’ve heard about but where I’ve never been. I think I’d enjoy traveling with this person, and when you’re telling travel stories, that’s half the battle.

225 FEET

This was a rant about the slow road work and multiple public holidays observed in the West Indies (which beget lackadaisical public service). This started out full throttle with the complaining and the attitude and kept it up nonstop and I like that. I like a writer with a solid point of view, even if I don’t necessarily agree with it. (And in saying so, I’m not implying that I’m in favor of desultory road construction.) The part of this piece I appreciated most was the statistical analysis that wrapped up the piece, the witty mathematical figuring that illustrated the absurdity of the situation concerning road work down there. This was an unexpected finale after the extended personal griping and I think it justified the whole piece. Endings are tough. Nice work on this one.

EVERYMAN’S SECURITY

I’ve experienced a number of these military-check-point experiences as a traveler, so I was immediately interested in this piece and, once again, I felt the writer did a great job of “taking me there.” Reading the piece, I was viscerally reminded of the weird tension that seeps through those encounters. Nice job. Even better, the writer did a terrific job of heightening drama and expectation throughout the piece. I kept thinking, “OK, purplepatch is leading us up to a payoff, or a punch line or something, and if there isn’t one, I’m going to be sorely disappointed.” And then, what do you know, purplepatch did indeed deliver with a great little closer (which in retrospect I should have guessed at, but didn’t, so I can’t say this was predictable). This is a perfect example of someone hooking you with a promise, keeping you interested in their story, then actually delivering the goods at the end. Not easy to do.

ORANGE ON DEC. 14TH

Having spent seven or eight Thanksgivings abroad myself, this one, about a Turkey Day in Italy, had my interest right away. And, yet again, the writer did a nice job of putting me right in line with all those other cruise shippers, waiting to get trundled around Naples, Pompeii, etc. Editors are always talking about a “sense of place,” and this one delivered that, even if it was a place I wouldn’t care to be myself. I think the best piece of advice in the story is this: “I should have just wandered away on my own.” Guides are interesting and often they can be genuinely helpful, even necessary. But in most circumstances, I try to get off on my own and almost always find this the best way to go. I also agreed with the writer’s note about enjoying rough boat rides. That was a funny aside, and not just because I agreed with it. By the way, my wife looked over my shoulder at a few of these entries and here’s what she said about this one: “The writer’s complaints that some people are so lame/dumb were really true and funny. I find myself thinking (or screaming inside my head), “Get a clue, it ain’t that hard to figure out, you idiot!” So, you’ve got one fan there and, believe me, she ain’t always an easy one to please.

NEW YORK:  IF I CAN MAKE IT THERE (WITHOUT A MELTDOWN)

Comic story here about hauling a kid to New York. I’ve done that Southwest route to Long Island by way of getting to NYC, and it’s a tough one. Best NYC travel advice I can give is fly in and out of LaGuardia and just bite the bullet and take a cab in and out of town. Yes, it’s an extra $75 (round trip) but you save hours of hassle. Lots of funny bits in this story. I enjoyed the intro about Travelin’ Mom and Travelin’ Junior. I cracked up Elmo being executed in the X-ray scanner and the writer’s subsequent attempt to give away his son. “Behold, the power of Elmo” got a laugh out of me. This writer must be pretty good because I actually felt sorry for him, whereas in real life I probably would have been one of those people silently hating his screaming kid and inconsiderate parents. So, great job.

AND THE WINNER IS:

HIGHLIGHT OF ST. LOUIS: “HEY, MAN, YOU DO THE MATH.”

Gotta say, this one had me laughing. Not so much with knee-slapping jokes as for being quick and witty throughout. Terrific work with the dialogue. That’s not easy to get right. A sort of character study through long quotes, most of which were memorable. The bit about the women turning the cat against the guy was good. I also enjoyed this line: “I ain’t denying that there’s always food in the house, that it’s always clean and that your laundry gets done. But it’s the noise, the constant shouting.” There’s a very funny Spalding Gray essay called “College Girls” (it appears in his “Swimming to Cambodia” book and at least one other collection) that begins with an anecdote about a Latin lover named Zapata that this story reminded me of. If the author of ST. LOUIS hasn’t read it, I think he/she would like it. And that’s a prize recommendation that everyone can take home and read that’s funnier than anything in my book, anyway.

Once again, thanks for the chance to read your stories. I enjoyed thinking about each one. —Chuck Thompson

Thanks so much for sharing your stories. And happy winner, send me your address (which I have around here somewhere, lord knows where). I hope I’ll have the chance to do this again, it’s fun.

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